Friends in unusual places

This time last week I was sitting by my Mother’s bedside reading. It is a lonely job sitting on a sofa in a big room on ones own not knowing whether the patient will wake up, or not, and what will happen.

I looked at the seat next to me, the empty seat and wondered who I would like to be sitting there with me in this moment.

The seat, I suppose, is a seat we carry with us throughout our lives – a seat that holds the friend, ghost, partner, creature, or silence with whom we would we like to be sharing this or that moment.

Were I to predict who would be with me on this journey of my mothers death I think I would have been wrong.

Several of the people I expected to offer me support, words, or comfort remained silent. Those I would not necessarily have thought would be there were there.  I could have been upset at the silence from those under my umbrella of expectation – but no friendship or acquaintance is based on expectation but acceptance of people being who they are, it wasn’t a personal slight on me, it wasn’t that people didn’t care, it was just who they were and people being who they are is beautiful in itself.

Instead I marvelled at how wrong I had been, and how amazing it was that those that spoke up spoke up despite my (what I perceive) neglect.

I am not sure it is helpful to define friends, that isn’t what I am trying to do for we all fall short for reasons that we never understand, just that friends are in extraordinary places.

One friend told me to leave work and go and sit with Mum ( a direction they felt was bold but I considered to be exactly the right thing to say to my hair tearing out indecision that all the Bones household seem to have inherited), another told me about their experiences which helped me see things clearly, and someone I don’t even know told me to go as they had not and regretted it (thank you).  When I awoke in the middle of the night I noticed a message from someone about poetry. It may have seemed abstract but the still voice in the night meant something. Throughout  this experience I have had messages of comfort and when my mother finally died I was swept up in a tidal wave of comments.

I haven’t lost my Mum (I know where she is) and I haven’t lost a relationship with my Mum (The one we had will live with me) nor have a lost a part of me.  Yes, the walls have fallen silent, the wind has stilled it’s voice, but I have found something.

I have found friends in extraordinary places and I have found that my heart is a good heart and the whole time that I was by my mothers bedside I was wrapped in Love and Peace.  My Mum hasn’t taken anything away in her death, she has left a legacy.   It will take a while to get used to it but I intend to keep it.

Mum

I started this blog for my Mum so she knew what I was up to, and I never thought she would be gone so soon. She had to leave us, and it will take time to get used to her not being by our side, but in our hearts instead.

Her footprints don't tread this earth anymore and the sound of her voice has fallen silent. Mum - may you rest in peace and rise in glory..

Dear Mum

I am having a nice time on holiday. I have a ball and dinner and Stanley has to wait in bed until I make my mind up what to do first. I might have a little sleep as Stanley is going green. What fun.
Love
Boots

Sitting

I am sitting by my mothers bedside as she sleeps peacefully. My father is playing jazz which is wafting its way through the corridors. The view over the garden is glorious in the winter light. I don't suppose I will be here for the end, but I am here for now.

The house is peaceful but for the gently ticking of the numerous clocks.
The world is busy, but here we are quiet.

Quiet and peaceful.

Waiting?

I thought I had possibly heard my mothers voice for the last time yesterday, but last night I had a message to call. On the off chance someone might be able to give us an update my sister had called the house. The nurse answered and she was able to exchange a few words with Mother. She sent a message to do the same, so I did. I was also able to exchange a few words with my mother. The voice I am so familiar with that is going to fall silent.
Mother deteriorated in the night and although she is comfortable she is fading. I am torn as to whether to go to her side, or not. As my friend says, there is no right answer and I am not very good with decisions that don't involve right answers.

Waiting
Unclear thought
Flashing memories
Childhood
Family moments
Flashing by
Silence
Quiet
Peace
Agony
Screaming
Change
All change
Peace.

Slipping away?

It isn't over
It isn't past,
It's the moment of limbo
How long will it last?

Have we had
Our final conversation
Our final laugh
Probably.

It is not over.
It is not the past.
Onward.
This legacy of life
Living on.

chilled frozen over in the gorgeous morning light

Yet another glorious morning on the frozen cut.

 

 

Canal River Trust: Andy Tidy

I like this guy, his integrity and his manifesto A LOT. He is a good man.  I am going to keep putting this post up every now and again and I do hope you will consider him seriously when it comes to voting and tell others about him. You can get information from his blog where he has been writing about the the Canal River Trust and elections here and why to vote for Andy Tidy here.

Morning Skies

The sky this morning was beautiful and I know I am not alone in this because everyone says so. The skies are stunning in our country. I looked out of the side hatch to this:

As I set off from the boat I could see the sunrise on one side and the moonset on the other. How beautiful the moon hanging there in splendour, bold and large:

Across the fields the windows to the little church at Hampton Gay were ablaze with orange light as the sun peered above the horizon and as it rose the light that was cast across the fields was magical.

I walked over the fields under the peaceful sky and suddenly things felt alright.  I was reminded of a poem I wrote some 10years ago for someone very dear at the time. It is the only poem I have ever given to anyone and the only one I have ever spent time thinking and composing. That person is gone now, and the full version is here, but here is the abbreviated version as it rang around my head in the fields this morning as it often does, but this time it was in one of those rare moments when peace sweeps across the atmosphere. This moment suited it much better.

Oh distant land
Where the sun rises high
Where the birds sing of freedom
And the stars hang from the sky

Where can you be found?
Oh distant, distant land

Morning through the side hatch

Two marinas in Cropredy backed by Cherwell council

It can all be read about here and here.  I have often heard that a Marina at Cropredy would solve all the boating issues that the southern Oxford apparently has. I have never been convinced, not least because getting to work in Oxford from Cropredy  (and I have transport) is a long slog.  The news however gives the impression that the main objection was to children drowning as it wasn’t going to be far from the primary school.  The news article itself is quite calm and placid, the comments are certainly worth reading.

Social Media is the No Future of the day

A friend sent these images by email. Is this Evolution?

Getting Away

Boots has already written to Granny and Grandpa about our trip away so here are some pictures.

We stopped on the way to look at the Rollright Stones. Despite living in Oxfordshire for many many years I have never been. I did once take a trip around the Cotswolds and stopped for a short walk around Little Rollright village but as time (and the company) was tight I didn’t stop long. I did however tell myself I would return but for some reason I haven’t ever quite made it, until this trip.  Parking the car is easy and the stones are just over the hedge.

These flowers tell an untold story

They remind me of a post 8ch made about some flowers he found in a quiet place in 2010 here 

A short walk leads to the whispering giants; I grew fond of the one on the right – it was rather like a curled up version of a figure of my childhood.

Our shadows came for a walk 

and we stood and we watched

The hotel room had a lovely bath (I even used it)

and pre dinner drinks in the library

 

Walk in the country

The morning light is stunning and on the 28th November 2011 I walked the fields in glorious frosty sunlight

 

 

 

At the end of our walked my shadow watched Boots run towards us with a HUGE grin on his face.

Autumn/Winter in the country

 

Chimney Making Picture Book

My dear friend gave me my chimney but 4 years later it was feeling rather sorry for itself and it was time for a new one. We didn’t know about the benefits of double lined chimneys but I do now, so I went for a double skinned stainless steal number.  My friends gave me the number of a chimney maker and I joined the long queue of boaters who had suddenly decided with the approach of winter to get a new chimney – the best time is to get them in summer – you avoid the rush that way.

The chimney maker arrived on site with everything in the back of his van.

All the steel is cut to size before coming. Then it is clamped together

whizzed

Inside added

Spot welded

 

hammered

hat fitted

  

finished

 

Dear Granny and Grandpa

Mum has been off work far too long and has been moping around the place like a bear with a sore head so I have spent some of my pocket money on a hotel for us for the night. Fortunately it has a bath and even more fortunately (for the rest of us) mum has used it.

Our room is quite comfortable. There are several chairs for mum to sleep on and I have a huge bed. The room is quite enormous and takes much longer to get to the kettle or bathroom than at home. This is a great relief as mum is getting plenty  of exercise which is jolly good as her bum has been exponentially expanding over the last few weeks.

Lots of love
Boots