Saturday, October 01, 2011

Flattening

How to flatten a tankard

  • Place it on a chair in an 'I am just going to put it there for a moment' and forget.
  • Fail to notice the cushion has slipped over it
  • Sit on the cushion
  • Wiggle to get comfortable
  • Have a moment of "flooding back" recall and leap up in over exaggerated way in an 'if I leap up quick enough it will all be OK'
  • Inspect the tankard.
  • Feel dismayed
  • Reflect
  • Stuff tankard at back of shelf with an 'I am sure I have made something marvelous and I will retrieve it when I know exactly what that is' way.
I am hoping I will work out a way to un-flatten it.

5 Comments:

Blogger Halfie said...

Melt it down and start again?

9:52 PM  
Anonymous Roger Smith said...

Depending on the metal you might need to anneal it first.

Find something tough but inflatable that you can fit into the tankard, motorbike innertube maybe, when it is in the tankard fill object with water and replace the valve. Get a piece of something solid that will cover mouth of tankard but has a hole for the valve, clamp in place and inflate with bike pump.

Alternatively, claim flattened tankard is used for bailing out awkward bits of bilge and replace it when funds allow.

10:18 AM  
Blogger MortimerBones said...

Roger - I think I will do that... for the bilges you know!

7:02 PM  
Blogger Maffi said...

Where did you get it?

6:05 AM  
Blogger MortimerBones said...

Maffi - not sure where I got this one, some charity shop somewhere I think.

11:48 AM  

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