Dear Granny and Grandpa
Following Mum’s debut performance there have been a number of problems at home.
If she isn’t dramatically lurching from the paint brush to the tea bags she is doing her hair (with a fork!) or checking her wince (or smile as she calls it) in the mirror (the darkened window that gives “just enough detail but not too much”). This means simple things are going wrong.
Firstly I have had the same biscuits ALL WEEK. I am not complaining because I like biscuits but I am just having the round ones and I like LONG ones too. Mum usually prides herself on the choices of biscuit but I notice that even she peers into the biscuit tin with a forlorn look (practicing for another of her theatrical attentions I expect). Secondly the conversation is even more boring and runs along the lines of ‘wasn’t I brilliant’ and ‘oh I AM brilliant’ It is quite embarrassing when we are out and about because I know everyone just wants to talk about something interesting like..er..Rabbits and things. Thirdly the door is broken.
The door has always been a fragile commodity on my boat. It never seems to work during the dark hours and then only opens at random times throughout the day. In the past I used to just stare at it and it would be opened for me. Now I have to stare for much longer AND I have to sigh.
Oh Granny and Grandpa. It is most unsatisfactory. I have to spend longer standing up than is absolutely necessary and it is quite soul destroying. Yesterday I was so tired from all the standing that I nearly didn’t catch a rabbit.
Lots of Love