Hello September, Hello Thief

I have thoroughly enjoyed my first weekend at home for a long time but I have completely and utterly over done it!

On Saturday I had a great time motorbike hunting. It went from disaster to triumph and I am now hopelessly in love with a bike I saw... but I didn't test drive it.... and the shop is shut until tomorrow... It might have been sold already, but I am still enjoying the prospect and excitement of 'will it be mine'?.

On my return from bike hunting I looked at the cloudy grey sky, consulted a friend, and decided to have a go at painting anyway... as I took the brushes out the sky did a most unusual thing and cleared! The sun came out and I painted the roof to the admiring gaze of a friend - who wasn't admiring my handy work per se but the rate of exponential drop in attention span...

On Sunday I moved my boat and I am now moored in a most beautiful and tranquil spot that excludes the requirement for public transport to get to work. WIN WIN WIN.

So, September is going rather well so far. I have a couple top tips though:

1. Always remember the gap between the bank and the boat when stepping off in the dark - fortunately I didn't get wet or fall in something nasty but I think I pulled a muscle laughing.

2. Lock everything on a boat down. I will tell you why....

I took Boots for a walk and as I looked across from the other side of the water I noticed someone standing by my boat. He stood there for a bit too long looking a bit too out of place so I stopped and waited and stood watching him (I expect someone in the house behind me stood watching me)... then he looked around him and started poking around my front deck. 'OI' I shouted... but it came out as a high pitch shouty whine which clearly didn't travel the distance required so I gruffed up my throat and puffed up my feathers as he opened the metal box on the front of my boat. Then, in what I have to say was a superb manly gruff voice I repeated my 'OI' which carried beautifully and hit him squarely for he shot bolt upright and looked around him. I continued my speech 'leav i a lone' I shouted (trying to sound hard). Slowly he turned around and spotted me as I finished my phrase. The man didn't run off but walked up the towpath to the road... the same direction as me. I walked a bit quicker telling Boots to 'man up and stop looking cute' and came face to face with the offender who seemed reasonably delighted to meet me. I just couldn't help smiling but I ticked him off anyway in an 'I might be smiling, I don't want to p*ss you off so you damage my property but would you mind frightfully not doing that sort of thing and throwing anyone in the canal who you might see doing that in the future' kind of way.

Life on the canal is quite extraordinary.