Off Yer Bike
I motored into Sainsbury this morning to fill up with Petrol. I took the petrol cap off, took the hose out of the holder and waited. The petrol pump did not whir into action and neither did fuel begin to flow out of the nozzle. Instead a member of staff appeared by my side.
I was informed that it is Sainsbury policy for motorcyclists to get off their motorcycle to fill up.
I was quite surprised.
I asked, equally politely, how long it had been Sainsbury policy for a motorcyclist to balance their motorcycle upright against their body (motorbikes don’t have centre stands any more) and in this precarious position lift a nozzle of flammable liquid and try and fill up a fuel tank positioned over a thumping boiling engine in an attempt to set fire to themselves?
The attendant went a bit pale so I thanked her very much for informing me and got off my bike to follow the instructions.
I was quite surprised at the attendant but I did what she said and marvelled at how it is apparently it is safer to balance your bike upright on your bad leg, hold the bike with one hand lean over and take the nozzle from the holder and then fill up with fuel.
On talking to the manager about why Sainsbury had decided on this policy I was told that one is more inclined to set fire to oneself when filling up ones motorcycle while sitting on the bike to steady it (which is MUCH easier).
“Oh” said I. How many people have had an accident like that then?
'”One said the lady” – in Kent.
“One” thought I……
Clearly Mathematics isn’t my forte but I would have thought that if one were to take the history of motorcycling and the number of motorbikes multiplied by the number of times a motorcycle is successfully re-fuelled during its lifetime the sum total would be greater, perhaps much greater, substantially greater even than one.