Thursday, August 30, 2012

Off Yer Bike

I motored into Sainsbury this morning to fill up with Petrol.  I took the petrol cap off, took the hose out of the holder and waited. The petrol pump did not whir into action and neither did fuel begin to flow out of the nozzle. Instead a member of staff appeared by my side.

I was informed that it is Sainsbury policy for motorcyclists to get off their motorcycle to fill up. 

I was quite surprised.

I asked, equally politely, how long it had been Sainsbury policy for a motorcyclist to balance their motorcycle upright against their body (motorbikes don’t have centre stands any more) and in this precarious position lift a nozzle of flammable liquid and try and fill up a fuel tank positioned over a thumping boiling engine in an attempt to set fire to themselves?

The attendant went a bit pale so I thanked her very much for informing me and got off my bike to follow the instructions.

I was quite surprised at the attendant but I did what she said and marvelled at how it is apparently it is safer to balance your bike upright on your bad leg, hold the bike with one hand lean over and take the nozzle from the holder and then fill up with fuel.

On talking to the manager about why Sainsbury had decided on this policy I was told that one is more inclined to set fire to oneself when filling up ones motorcycle while sitting on the bike to steady it (which is MUCH easier).

“Oh” said I.  How many people have had an accident like that then?

'”One said the lady” – in Kent.

“One” thought I…… 

Clearly Mathematics isn’t my forte but I would have thought that if one were to take the history of motorcycling and the number of motorbikes multiplied by the number of times a motorcycle is successfully re-fuelled during its lifetime the sum total would be greater, perhaps much greater, substantially greater even than one.


Blogger Chris Wren said...

I had a similar experience at the Esso garage at Ermont Road, Banbury where they said I shouldn't fill my tank with the rear hatch open as the car might fill with petrol fumes. (What about open windows?) This again was based on one incident were a car allegedly exploded when a smoker lit up. I probably shouldn't have suggested that Natural Selection was at work if a smoker couldn't recognise the smell of petrol and realise it was explosive!

5:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Had a similar experience but in my case they wouldn't let me fill the bike in the first place.
Pulled up at a pay at the pump, put my card in, entered PIN, transaction authorised but the pump didn't start. Not to bright attendant came over and asked me to remove my helmet.
Why says I
So the camera's can see your face
Why says I
In case you ride of without paying.
Everyone within earshot collapsed in laughter apart from the attendant who for the life of her couldn't see what was so funny.
Still, if you pay peanuts you get monkeys I suppose.

9:24 PM  
Blogger Halfie said...

I was told off recently when I went to a Tesco petrol station to fill a (properly marked) container with petrol for the lawn mower. My crime? To have brought the can into the shop to pay for the petrol. Against the rules, apparently, as there's food about. I was told I should have left it outside. But I couldn't have locked it in a car as I'd cycled. Next time - if there is a next time - I'll have to remember to bring two locks: one for the bike and one for the can.

10:48 PM  
Anonymous Luctor said...

Bikes may not have centrestands, but surely you have a sidestand? How else do you park your bike? Unless it is a proper rat bike, and it's parked with a brick/bit o wood under the footpeg... :-)

4:53 AM  

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