Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Hospital - AGAIN

Maffi had another trip to the hospital to repair the detached retina in his other eye yesterday. He opted to have it done under local anaesthetic - brave man!
Being the dutiful neighbour I pootled up to the hospital to keep him from the doors of boredom during the wait and then sat waiting for him to return from the theatre. I have a couple of top tips for anyone in a similar position - a couple of don'ts:

1. don't arrive on your motorbike, it will be nigh on impossible to transport your patient home

2. don't spend the entire duration of the operation wondering about the morality of eating the patients banana that he has saved for the post-op munchies. It IS immoral, and the time would be better spent going home to get the car.

3. When you give someone a lesson on how to make the arm chair into a magic recliner, Don't stand there gawping as the chair starts to put them in a most compromising position, point out that they are pressing the wrong button.

3 Comments:

Blogger Lesley and Joe K said...

Is he still folded in the chair? Have you scarpered and left him to be found by a cleaner?
NB Caxton

11:21 AM  
Blogger MortimerBones said...

hmm, actually, it wasn't him! It was another patient... OOOOPSIE!

11:53 AM  
Anonymous kh said...

Given your track record on Health & Safety, do you think it wise to take up these consultancy posts? Hope you carry professional indemnity insurance or are you after a fresh human skeleton to complete your collection?

You can have mine BUT.........only when I have completely finished with it, as certified by competent a medical practioner who is not known to you !!!

8:16 PM  

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