Friday, January 04, 2008

I Hate You

I had friend once, but as with all things, friends come and go. Recently I lost a friend, not my first, and it always makes me sad. What is sadder is when one looses a good friend who is still alive. People are often all too willing to throw something away as they wait for life to happen to them. Perhaps I missed the olive branch, or perhaps I was too pig headed and stupid to notice! When I lose a friend who hasn't died, I often wonder whether they hate me, I often wonder whether I care.

I was recently told I didn't have a sense of humour. I always find this amusing, not least because it reminds me of a 3 year old girl with cute ginger curls storming out of the room saying 'you're not funny' (and then giggling in the privacy of their room).

Something else I find funny is when people say 'I hate you'. My parents always told me never to use the word 'hate', it is too strong. It is, but it can also be very funny. I often think people say I hate you, when they mean I hate me, I hate what you do to me; that isn't funny. How can anyone hate anyone else? People are beautiful. I looked on the Internet to see whether I could find a suitable poem about hate, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. First though, here is a poem about friends, about loss and about love:

Losing a Friend

You started as a stranger,
So careful and yet bold.
But then I got to know you,
And let myself unfold.
I told you all my secrets,
I shared with you my past.
This god given friendship,
It grew rather fast.
You were like my little brother,
So much more than just a friend. And when you needed comfort,
My heart I would lend.
At night we stayed up crying,
Wishing we were dead.
The memories I have of you,
They linger in my head.
Like that time when we both vowed,
To never be apart.
I took it very serious,
And locked it in my heart.
I miss the nights when we would laugh,
And say what's on our mind.
Act as if nothing was wrong,
And leave all worries behind.
But now at night I'm all alone,
My heart it cannot mend.
For when you took your life,
You also took my friend!

By andy, age 14,
Secondly, to lighten the mood, a poem about hate:

I Hate YouI hate you for giving me hope in life when all there is, is despair.
I hate you for giving me this strife and making the world seem so unfair.
I hate you for ever wanting me and letting me know such happiness.
I hate you for just leaving me to feel the worst loneliness.
I hate you for telling me lies when I believed all that you said.
I hate you for letting me die as I lay helpless in my bed.
I hate you for holding my hand when it swung content by my side.
I hate you for existing in this land where we must coincide.
I hate you for smiling on a dreary day when my frown is seen through the haze.
I hate you for letting come what may when you could've stopped it in so many ways.
I hate you for saying you loved me when I asked you not to say it back.
I hate you for letting me see our relationship crack.
I hate you for not letting me hear the cruel things you say when I'm not there.
I hate you for not letting me near when my soul I need to bare.
I hate you for giving me a glance when I think I look beautiful.
I hate you for the second chance that left me incredibly hopeful.
I hate you for not hearing me out when I want to beg and plead.
I hate you for making me doubt my opinion, to which I pay heed.
I hate you for all the things you said that made me most content.
I hate you for turning my head because I still think you're a god-send.
I hate you for this excruciating pain I barely endure every night.
I hate you for the constant rain my soul must fight.
I hate you for being there so now I'm doomed to miss and remember.
I hate you for giving me reason to care what happened back in September.
I hate you for saying goodbye and leaving me not knowing what to do,
But most of all,
I hate you for letting me cry 'cause I can't have you.

by amberdawn070706

If you don't find the humour in this post, it is OK - it is my lack of it shining through!

Living on a boat is nothing short of delightful, but when you lose something the silence echo's. I am blessed with a complete lack of awareness of lonliness. I have only ever had a taster like fellow boater Carrie, but boating isn't all fun and wildlife.


Blogger Alona said...

Something else I find funny is when people say 'I hate you'. My parents always told me never to use the word 'hate', it is too strong. It is, but it can also be very funny. I often think people say I hate you, when they mean I hate me, I hate what you do to me; that isn't funny. How can anyone hate anyone else? People are beautiful.

That was... one of the most beautiful and enlightening things I've read on the internet in the past while. Thanks.

10:55 AM  
Blogger MortimerBones said...

Thank you!

11:04 AM  
Blogger Shinner said...

True it can be a lot more painful to loose friend to life than to death. At least in death you can part with love still alive.
But at least in life there remains the chance of a second chance for friendship. Maybe you too Bones can have that "An Dara Seans" (the second chance).

3:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If was incredibly difficult fo my 16-year-old mind to digest how someone could seemingly love you so well, yet leave you so easily. I wanted to believe I was loved and would be indefinitely more than anything, but reality had it's self in mind. "He said the only sovereign he could allow to rule him was reason. ...He said the first law of reason is that what exists, exists; what is, is, and that from this irreducible, bedrock principle, all knowledge is built. He said that was the foundation from which life is embraced. ...He said thinking is a choice, and that wishes and whims are not facts, nor are they a means to discover them... Richard said reason is our only way of grasping reality- that it's our basic tool of survival. We are free to evade the effort of thinking - to reject reason - but we are not free to avoid the penalty of the abyss we refuse to see. ...The sixth rule is the hub upon which all rules turn. It is not only the most important rule, but the simplest. Nonetheless, it is the one most often ignored and violated, and by far the most despised. It must be wielded in spite of the ceaseless, howling protests of the wicked. Misery, iniquity and utter destruction lurk in the shadows outside it's full light, where half-truths snare the faithful disciples, the deeply feeling believers, the selfless followers. Faith and feelings are the warm marrow of evil. Unlike reason, faith and feelings provide no boundary to limit any delusion, any whim. They are a virulent poison, giving the numbing illusion of moral sanction to every depravity ever hatched. Faith and feelings are the darkness to reason's light. Reason is the very substance of truth itself. The glory that is life is wholly embraced through reason, through this rule. In rejecting it, in rejecting reason, one embraces death" Faith of the Fallen - Terry Goodkind I am amberdawn070706 and the next time you copy someone's work, please be so kind to include the link to where you ripped it from.

2:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It was intended to be ironic.

3:09 AM  
Blogger MortimerBones said...

Thank you for the link. I have now edited and included it.

11:25 AM  

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