Dear Granny

Humans are a bit slower than Canines (they take MUCH longer to grow up) so I am sure you spent a very long time teaching Mum manners but I am afraid that she has forgotten them ALL.

Firstly she has a total phobia against using her hands - she sits at the dinner table stabbing her meal with a slicer and prong and seems to look quite pleased with herself for some reason.

Between you and me she creates quite a fiasco at the dinner table. I suspect her teeth aren't up to much which is why she has to slice everything into tiny pieces before bringing it to her mouth on a prongy thing. It is quite an extraordinary practice. To top it off she doesn't drop a thing and clears her plate completely! Oh Granny!!!!!!! She has absolutely no respect at all.

The other day I had pigeon for supper. Grandpa will be very pleased to hear that I am not a fussy eater (unlike mum) and I ate it all. Last week I had squirrel but it's bottom didn't taste very nice so I left the tail. I think that is OK. Grandpa says we don't have to eat bottoms.

Lots of Love

Your devoted Grandson

Boots