Dear Granny and Grandpa
I am NORTY. I ate some books (they were a bit sour), a video (they were boring), a cushion (it was nasty looking) and some sticks but they sticks weren't sticks... apparently it was a picture frame and had one of Cousin Joanna's pictures in. I didn't eat the picture because it was pretty; I thought the sticks spoilt it. Mum doesn't agree.
As it happens I am not hungry, but in my food bowl I have 2 videos, the insides of a cushion, some bits of paper, some cardboard and a beheaded toothbrush. I will eat those later.
A toothbrush! HOW can mum be cross that I ate a toothbrush, she is ALWAYS making sure I have dental chews. As it happens I had to eat the toothbrush, it was self defense.
Mum hasn't shouted, or hit me, or done anything nasty but she is ignoring me. I HATE being ignored.
Can I come and