The importance of respect?
Someone told me the other day that they don't respect me. This made me think about what respect actually means:
The online encyclo has several definitions, and here is just one:
"respect
1. To take notice of; to regard with special attention; to regard as worthy of special consideration; hence, to care for; to heed. ... 2. To consider worthy of esteem; to regard with honor. ... 3. To have regard to; to have reference to; to relateto; as, the treaty particularly respects our commerce. As respects, as regards; with regard to; as to"
Looking at this it tells me that respect is a fundamental component of a relationship and a friendship, but not an acquaintance, for the former the importance of two way communication and two way respect is fundamental, in the latter it isn't. It makes no difference whether someone respects me, or whether I respect someone else, but it makes a huge difference if two people are to be friends. No one person can live under the umbrella of disrespect (or contempt), or the lack of respect (as this surely means one will cross anothers boundaries irrespectively) and it can't be pleasant for the other person to be around someone they disrespect (and the consequences).
So, when we harp on about the lack of respect in our 'youf culture' I wonder whether that is something that has come about due to our own lack of respect for them. If we don't listen to the 'youf' why should they listen to us?
I clearly have nothing in me for this particular person to respect, although I find it strange they should say that as I thought we were friends. I wonder if our culture has anything for the 'youf' to respect, especially when it is held in a mind of disregard and fear.
Perhaps I am wrong, but I always find it interesting to think about the meanings of words and the impact of them and their meaning on our society and interactions as we know them. Often we are so busy pointing out other peoples foiables and problems that we forget that we fall short ourselves. I wonder whether respect is the beauty of friendship, I think it might be.
I suppose many friendships lose respect, some are never borne because of lack of respect, and relationships break up without it. It seems fundamental, yet I was never taught about it.
The online encyclo has several definitions, and here is just one:
"respect
1. To take notice of; to regard with special attention; to regard as worthy of special consideration; hence, to care for; to heed. ... 2. To consider worthy of esteem; to regard with honor. ... 3. To have regard to; to have reference to; to relateto; as, the treaty particularly respects our commerce. As respects, as regards; with regard to; as to"
Looking at this it tells me that respect is a fundamental component of a relationship and a friendship, but not an acquaintance, for the former the importance of two way communication and two way respect is fundamental, in the latter it isn't. It makes no difference whether someone respects me, or whether I respect someone else, but it makes a huge difference if two people are to be friends. No one person can live under the umbrella of disrespect (or contempt), or the lack of respect (as this surely means one will cross anothers boundaries irrespectively) and it can't be pleasant for the other person to be around someone they disrespect (and the consequences).
So, when we harp on about the lack of respect in our 'youf culture' I wonder whether that is something that has come about due to our own lack of respect for them. If we don't listen to the 'youf' why should they listen to us?
I clearly have nothing in me for this particular person to respect, although I find it strange they should say that as I thought we were friends. I wonder if our culture has anything for the 'youf' to respect, especially when it is held in a mind of disregard and fear.
Perhaps I am wrong, but I always find it interesting to think about the meanings of words and the impact of them and their meaning on our society and interactions as we know them. Often we are so busy pointing out other peoples foiables and problems that we forget that we fall short ourselves. I wonder whether respect is the beauty of friendship, I think it might be.
I suppose many friendships lose respect, some are never borne because of lack of respect, and relationships break up without it. It seems fundamental, yet I was never taught about it.
posted by MortimerBones at
2:54 PM
10 Comments:
How strange. I think I can find something to respect in nearly everyone - beyond them just being entitled to 'respect' for being human. I can't imagine what someone might have to do for me to tell them I had no respect for them. I certainly can't envisage you having done anything like that!
as with all things I suspect I hadn't done anything, and the fact I was told was more a reflection on the situation and perpertraitor than me.
However, it goes to show how important respect is in our society, and how we take it for granted that we should get it from people (youf whatever).
You have hit it on the nose with this post. Particularly in regards to youth. I taught music in schools for a couple of years and had no problems with tthe students, even the ones that were labeled trouble. The difference that I saw, was that I respected them as individuals, where as most of the other teaching staff didn't give them any respect. Rather they considered respect to be a one way event leading to them.
What a strange remark to make. How can people be friends without repsecting them and there opinion. You don't always have to agree with me but that doesn't stop them being friends.
I agree with Weeping Cross - I can't think of anyone that I absolutely no respect for.
I was taught about respect - by my parents, family, and schools. There's a big difference between being respectful (which is just plain good manners) and respect for that matter. I think it's impossible to have any kind of relationship without respect.
Respect is a two way process as you say, and it implies time and effort on both sides. I'm very lucky that I have been given that by those close to me from a young age.
To your other point, as the parable says, it's easier to see the speck in someone else's eye, than the beam in our own. Something I've been rather guilty of off late. And being far too sure that my own point of view is the correct one...
but good without being taught respect, you know how to respect, that i am grateful for
Free2live.
I suspect some people confuse respect with admiration or defrence.It could be that this is what the ment.
Good set of posts. I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of people I have met and for whom I have no respect. 30 years in HM Services I have met a lot of people. Initial respect is, I think, automatic and nothing less than good manners as has stated.
However, continued respect, particularly in the work place, has to be earned. Sadly, in a very few cases this is not so maintained. It is very difficult to respect your line manager when he singularly fails to communicate, bearing in mind the two way nature of communication. I have walked away from work on more than one occasion for this reason.
Thankfully there are even fewer acquaintances I have walked away from for the same reason, even if it is easier to do this.
On the other hand maybe it's just me !
Youf is youf and they, unfortunately have always been the subject of some derision from the older generations. I remember some of the things I was told when I was a fresh faced "rookie" by the "hairy old chiefs". AND How many of us use the very same words that our parents used about us when we wuz kids ?
Music's too loud !
Why don't you learn to speak properly ?
What DO you look like ?
You're not leaving this house wearing THAT, young lady ! !
Go and do your home work or you'll end up sweeping the streets. (No disrepsect to any street sweepers.)
Ring any bells ???
If children are brought up with respect for themselves and their possessions, then they will have respect for other people and their belongings. It is a bit sad that respect is a bit lacking these days though.
Interesting... I suppose it must depend on your definition or understanding of the term. I would very rarely say that I respect someone as an individual. I would respect their humanity; their human rights, their right to be treated decently. That's one sense of the word. But to me, to respect someone as an individual means more than that. It's a positive thing, not just a lack of its opposite - which is contempt, I guess. It means I really look up to them; that I find something in them that is noble; special. That they are not cheap or venal or superficial. Not lazy or cruel or mean. But I agree that respect, even in that very narrow sense, is vital to a genuine friendship. Which is perhaps why that is also such a rare thing.
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