Diesel in the Bilges

This afternoon I left work early to return to my chambers for a snooze. I was most cross when I realised the boat had different ideas. nb Bones has decided to keep its Diesel in the bilges, not in the tank; I don't find this even remotely funny. I roared in fury (the level eyebrow and frown kind) and set too trying to fix it. Maffi was making me a tea, which he promptly stopped and was ordered to stand to attention as I set to bailing it out into endless buckets, and all sorts of other ridiculous containers that I will have to get it out of at some point. Maffi in a moment of inspiration went home to pick up a 25litre container and I filled that up. It hardly made a difference, but at least the oil sump and the bilges are now separate. This is all very cross making indeed. In order to keep my clothes clean I stripped to my vest and boxers and threw my socks away. I switched the diesel off, and like all good responsible boat owners abandoned ship. With nappies wrapped around my feet to absorb the grime and prevent the stench being spread across the rest of the cabin, I strolled through the boat announcing to Maffi that he now has a house guest. He was too busy admiring my stylish footwear to protest.

I think I will start a new perfume series called 'diesel' and when that hits off I will make a shower gel with the profits, I think I will call it swafeagalite. It took a good 10minutes with scrubbers, shampoo and washing up liquid to get the grime off. I think it is about time I got myself a boiler suit.