Cooking Triumphs

As I eyed up the bacon and eggs on the side I decided that this morning was the morning where I, the domestic godess of the waterways, would be a chef extraordinaire. Stand back England I thought to myself, make way for the perfect breakfast.

Anyone that has had my cooking will realise it is a bit hit and miss. Sometimes I have had to force people to eat in the dark to ensure that the sight before them doesn't put them off eating it. One particularly memorable dish was what became known as 'pink tea'. This was meant to be beef in red wine sauce, but turned out to be luminous pink and I just couldn't bring myself to eat it. James having realised I had slaved over a hot stove was loyal to the cause and settled down. I had cornflakes. He was ill for a week.

This morning however, it was different. The scene was fabulous, I whisked up the eggs for the eggy bread and turned my attention to the cooker. The bacon sizzled, the kettle whistled and in no time at all the smells were radiating around me. I marvelled that the smoke alarm hadn't gone off - this was the first time ever I had cooked without the ceiling screaming at me. I laid it all out on a plate, settled down ate it and sat back repleat.

My friend came over later, and I told him of my triumphant time. He was most impressed when I told him not even the smoke alarm had protested... then he very sweetly pointed out it didn't have a battery in.

Pah.

nb. no idea how I managed to not have a battery in my smoke alarm. I shan't do that again. Smoke alarms save lives.