Thursday, June 19, 2008

Marriage

While we are on the topic of the daily mail, I also read this rather amusing (and very well written) tale of a couple who got married, then got to know each other. What I particularly like about this is that when the reality hit, marriage was hard and Steve had a choice "The whole thing felt insane. I had two choices: to run away like I had done from every other bad situation in my life, or stay and fight for my marriage". He chose to stay and fight for his marriage. 2 years ago they had a wedding, and now they have a
marriage.

He also says: "We've had to do it the other way round: getting to know each other, and going through the teething process of an early relationship after we had already made that commitment"

People walk away too quickly and too easily in our disposable society, I wonder what commitment means these days. Perhaps I am the only one that thinks that divorce is destructive. I realise, for some, it is the best situation and I also realise, for some, that life after divorce, with a new partner, can be happiness in itself. I am also old enough, and perhaps wise enough, to know that other peoples relationships are not mine to judge or understand.

What we mustn't forget is that divorce steals dreams, and we can't always get our dreams back.

7 Comments:

Blogger Adam said...

As a non-believer, marriage doesn't have any sacramental importance to me, so I am wholly supportive of couples who commit to each other without a wedding. But I just can't get my head around the way marriage seems to be regarded today. Why, for example, would you have a kid with someone and then marry them a few years later? Is the former less of a commitment than the latter? I am perplexed.

11:35 AM  
Blogger Miss T said...

And sometimes people keep making the same mistakes. I have a relative who has just come to terms with the breakup of his third marriage.

That said, a late friend of mine was blissfully happy in her 4th marriage (after 3 divorces).

In today's instant gratification society, people tend to forget that things that are really worthwhile take work and time - like wine :-)

11:35 AM  
Blogger Maffi said...

True Miss T but who in their right mind would divorce a good claret.

2:37 PM  
Blogger Adam said...

Yeah Maffi but if your wife got you pissed like decent claret marriage would be a lot easier!

3:26 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Swear I read a similar story in the last few days, so they must've flogged it to the Grauniad too. Unless the Mail just nicked it from there.

9:16 PM  
Blogger WeepingCross said...

I actually had a couple who wanted their offspring christened at St James', and asked them whether they'd thought about getting married. 'We're not ready for that commitment', said She, thus making exactly your point, Adam, that somehow having a child is the lesser of the two commitments, at least for the chap. Presumably this is because if you marry someone you can never have sex with anyone else ever again, and in the modern world that prospect is something mind-bogglingly horrific. In this particular case they were quite right as He proved a wastrel and She threw Him out.

9:36 PM  
Blogger Adam said...

Yes, Father... but according to your account it was she who made this comment, not he. So why is progeny less of a tie than marriage for women? I dunno.

9:58 PM  

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