Sunday, February 05, 2012

The weight upon my shoulder

My mothers funeral marked the end of many years together, we, our family, walked together through thick and thin and somehow stayed together; tied together in Love. 

Now my mother has gone it feels like the end of a era. A life lived so full has ended and it is the end of so many things. She gave her life in so many ways and now she has gone.

Never have my footprints on this earth felt so heavy, I have never felt so firmly attached to this world, the world that Mother has left behind to make of it as we will.

Strangely I am not sad. I will miss my Mum, but I am not sad – never has a chapter of life ever felt so finished, so complete and so peaceful.  She had to go and she went with such grace, such peace and such calm.  As she lay taking her last breaths I stroked her arm and I told her I was so proud of her and that I loved her, I thanked her for the life she gave me. It was true to the very core of my being.

And so as my mother carried us so we carried my mother into the church and then finally to her final resting place.  It felt good having the weight of our mother on our shoulders. We didn’t follow behind as we so often did, instead we held her, claimed her and did the one last thing we could for our Mum. Carried her. We walked the final stage together with her on our shoulders. Arms crossed over each other and under her.

The new life has started, the new chapter begun. Life for us is going to be so very very different. I await with curiosity to see how it will be. No longer can we hear the sound of her voice or feel her. She just is not here, but we are, those left behind are here together.

I am not sad my mother has died, I am more glad that she lived and she was mine. May she rest in peace and rise in glory with wings as eagles as in our hearts.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sue x

9:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

a wondeful post and eulogy-wish I could have done the same for my Mum

9:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Much love to you Bones! I just hope that my kids will feel the same when it's my time.
Mary x

9:57 PM  
Anonymous Andrew said...

Peace be with you .

11:07 PM  
Blogger Jill and Graham said...

My lovely Bones, I am about to have to face a similar situation, but I doubt I will manage it with your grace, eloquence and dignity. Take good care of yourself, Jill xx

12:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous Yu have ssaid it all Bones. Beautiful.

5:08 PM  
Blogger grey wolf said...

very moving description.I am sure loved ones never truly leave us.
best wishes to you and your family


10:40 AM  
Anonymous Caroline said...

That is truly beautiful. And so typical of you. She was a very lucky Mum indeed to have such amazing daughters. xx

8:52 PM  
Anonymous Boatwif said...

This is such a moving piece of writing: the heart feels full on reading it. My very best wishes to you and your family as you embark on this different stage of your lives.

9:18 PM  
Blogger Jayne Toyne said...

Bones, touched to hear of your recent loss. A really well written post.
Hope you are dealing as well with it inwardly as you are outwardly.


10:21 AM  
Blogger Jayne Toyne said...

my thoughts are with you Bones. Ive been waiting for any sign of you coming back to the blogger world. Does this mean you are taking a time out?

11:01 AM  

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